Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
