do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
