this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
