: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
