I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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