remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
