whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
