last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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