I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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