Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
