I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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