I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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