Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
