My sheets look like a crime scene.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
