My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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