..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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