Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I wish you could order shots online.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
