You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
