Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
