I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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