make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
