I feel like I'm in dance class right now
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
