Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
