If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
