I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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