One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
