If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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