It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
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