You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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