i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
