it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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