he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We got so high we made milksteak
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
