oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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