Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just pee around me
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
