She is in my trunk
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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