im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
