whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
