How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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