you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
