Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
