Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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