What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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