I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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