what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
