This show inspires me to have sex in space
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
