What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
