Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Mom said you looked used
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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