i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
