I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
