the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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