i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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