What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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