So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
