Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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